one time I went to a gamestop and as I walked in the employee was like “cooking mama is over there!” and snickered with his friend and I was so pissed because 1) I was there to pick up diablo III and 2) cooking mama is an excellent game not an insult to fling at women when u feel like being a misogynist. anyway I hate nerds
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
why is it okay for a black person to call another black person a nigger but when a white person does it, it's racist?
why is it that when rich white people invaded North America and killed millions of Native Americans they were called “settlers” but when poor Black and Brown people cross the border they’re called “illegals”?
why is it that when rich white people kidnapped sold and enslaved millions of Black people it was called a “trade”, but when poor Black and Brown people steal products it’s called “theft”?
lets face it, tampons are just a cheaper and more compact version of dildos
I LOVE SHOVING DRY ITCHY COTTON UP MY VAGINA. IT FEELS SO GOOD. NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT IF I GET THE DIRECTION EVEN A LITTLE BIT WRONG IT FEELS LIKE I’M STABBING AT MY INSIDES. I GET OFF ON IT ALL THE TIME, EVEN WHEN I’M NOT ON MY PERIOD.
why is it that cis boys have no concept of how to pleasure the cis female body I swear to god
I AM WORRIEDTHAT THEY WILL CUT FINNICK TALKING ABOUT HIS FORCED PROSTITUTION OUT OF THE MOCKINGJAY MOVIE(S) OR TRY TO UNDERMINE IT OR JUST “”“SUBTLY HINT AT IT”“” BECAUSE IT IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORYLINE AND IT REALLY ADDS TO HIS CHARACTER AND HELPS YOU GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF HIM AND FEEL MORE SYMPATHY FOR HIM AND IT’S JUST SO IMPORTANT AND THEY HAD BETTER NOT CUT IT OUT OR WATER HIS CONFESSION DOWN.
“Men always say that as the defining compliment: the Cool Girl. She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because ‘I like strong women’ is code for ‘I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.”—